Broccoli Eyes
by Mystic Dragoness
Summary: *Now chapterized!* A very interesting story... you'll simply have to read it. If you are looking for a laugh, or something very different, check this out. This is a story I wrote with my cousin.
1. 1 Broccoli

  
Disclaimer: These are not my characters or nothin' like that and I don't   
wanna get sued and I don't own anything, k?  
  
Warning: This story contains extreme insanity. If you are prejudiced   
against insane things, or simply do not like them, please refrain from  
reading this story.  
  
AN: Please don't flame me! This is a story I wrote with my cousin, and   
we wrote it purely for entertainment. So, enjoy the story!  
  
Narrator: We find our friends frolicking through the meadows of South Africa on this fine   
Summer day, in search of rare Pokemon, as always.  
Ash: YES! I think I see something!  
Misty: Then you must be seeing things, all I see is one idiot in search of Pokemon!  
Ash: (mystical voice) Well, Misty, your eyes are not trained to see the unseen.  
Misty: RIIIIIGHT. Sure thing.  
Brock: Wait, Ash, you're right. I, the mighty and faultless Brock, see it too!  
Ash: What is it?!?!  
Brock: It's the most Beautiful thing I've ever seen! (Pauses dramatically.) NURSE   
JOOOYYYY!!!!!  
Misty/Ash: Waaaaaa! (Get humongo sweatdrops.)  
Nurse Joy pauses in the distance, looking around wildly.  
Brock:(floating in mid-air) Aaaaahhhhhhhhh...., Nurse Joy.....  
Ash: It's just a jump to the left!!!  
Misty: And a step to the RIIIGGHT!  
Brock: (Stops floating for a second to join Ash and Misty in their dancing) PUT YOUR HANDS   
ON YOUR HIPS!  
Nurse Joy: Uuuuhhhhhhhhh..... yeah, sure, I think I'm going to go now.  
Brock: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Look what you've done to me Ash and   
Misty!!!  
Brock curls up into a ball with black stuff all around him in depression.  
Brock: (In a dreary voice) I'll never be the same again.  
Ash: Sure you will Brock! After all, there's tons more Nurse Joy's out there!  
Brock: Oh yeah. I forgot.  
Misty: Oh Ash?  
Ash: Yes Misty?  
Misty: (walking toward Ash shaking her hips) Say my name, say my name. When no one is   
around you, Say baby I LOVE you.  
Ash: What?  
Misty: SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME. You're acting kinda shady, 'aint calling me BABY,   
better say my name!  
Ash: Uhhhhhhhh, MISTY?  
Misty: (Patting Ash on the head) Good Ashy-poo.  
Brock: (Tears streaming down his face) You two have such a healthy relationship! *Sigh*   
Why won't Nurse Joy ever do that to me?  
Misty: What about Officer Jenny?  
Brock: Her too!!  
Misty: (To Ash) He can never learn to just stick with one girl, like my beloved Ashy-Poo here.  
Ash: Ahhhhhhhh.............  
Pikachu: I'm getting friggin' bored here! Come on, let something interesting happen already!  
Suddenly there is a knock on a nearby tree.  
Misty: Wow, Pikachu! You can talk!  
Brock: Come in oh lovely Jenny or JOY!!!!!  
Robin Williams walks in through the tree.  
Robin: Hey, I'm here for the party!  
Misty: Oh, that's cool. Bring out the cardboard and start breakdancing!  
Robin: Um.... okay.  
Robin brings out the cardboard and starts breakdancing.  
Brock: Oh, DO THE TIMEWARP YEAH!  
Ash: Do the Robot!!!  
Robin: Your wish is my command. Hey, 'aint that a flashback?  
Robin does the ROBOT.  
Misty: Hey BROCCOLI EYES!!! Dance with me!  
Robin does the Tango with Misty.  
Brock: Oh, man. How come nobody ever calls me "Broccoli Eyes"? Aren't they Broccoli   
enough?  
Ash: You mean, you HAVE eyes?  
Brock: The cruelty of your words bites into my soul and- ew, yuck. Never mind.  
Ash: Hey, I have a good quest! Forget catching Pokemon, let's catch Brock a girlfriend!  
Brock: Really???  
Ash: Sure Brock! You know I like a challenge!  
Suddenly a Zubat flies into the room (yes, they're in a room all of a sudden).  
Ash: Hey look! A Zubat!  
Buffy the Vampire Slayer rushes into the room holding a wooden stake in one hand.  
Buffy: Where did that vampire bat go?  
Ash: Hey, look! A Buffy!  
Brock: Aahhhhh...  
Misty: Wow, Buffy? Um, that isn't a vampire bat, it's a Zubat.  
Buffy: Dang! I hate it when that happens! (looks around) Hey, where am I?  
Ash: Okay, now to fulfill my quest! Pokeball... GO!  
Ash throws a Pokeball at Buffy and it hits her on the head.  
Buffy: Ow!  
Suddenly Buffy is sucked into the pokeball.  
Brock: Wow, catch her Ash, catch her!  
The pokeball is bouncing on the ground. It pops back open and Buffy comes out.  
Buffy: Hey! Nobody tries to catch Buffy!  
Robin: Hey, how come no one's paying attention to me anymore?  
Buffy: I'll pay attention to you!  
Buffy goes over to Robin and starts beating him up.  
Buffy: It isn't nice to try to catch people in pokeballs! Don't you know I'm not a Pokemon?  
Robin: Hey, no fair! I didn't throw that pokeball! (points at Ash) He did!  
Buffy: Oh, I'm so sorry. I tend to get disoriented in alternate universes.  
Buffy runs over to Ash.  
Ash: (desperately) Hey, look, there goes a vampire!  
Buffy: REALLY? Dang, I'd better catch it!  
Buffy runs off into the distance.  
Misty: That was a close one, Ash!  
Brock: Hey, you still have to catch me a girlfriend, Ash!  
Ash: Yeah, that's right!  
Ash crouches down on the ground looking stealthily about.  
Robin pulls out the cardboard and starts breakdancing.  
Misty: Okay Robin, that's enough.  
Ash: I think I've spotted a target.  
Brock: REALLY? Who?  
Ash: Yes, I think that should work just fine.  
Brock: Who is it? Who is it?  
Ash: That Mr. Mime over there should be just perfect for you, Brock.  
Brock: WHAAAT? How dare you Ash you must really learn to respect your elders I cannot   
believe you just said that to me now The Brock will have to beat you into the depths of the   
Earth unless you can stop him!  
Pikachu: Fine, if you won't do anything interesting, I will!  
Pikachu suddenly transforms into a human girl.  
Brock: Whoa! You're hot!  
Pikachu: Huh?  
Brock rushes over and grabs Pikachu by the hands.  
Brock: Hello, my name's Brock and I think that you are beautiful and what is your name and   
will you go out with me?  
Pikachu: Huh?  
Ash: Pikachu! I always thought you were a guy!  
Brock is oblivious to everything other than the girl in front of him.  
Brock: Will you go out with me?  
Ash: BROCK! You can't go out with my Pikachu!  
Pikachu: Okay, I'm bored with this now.  
Pikachu turns back into a Pikachu.  
Brock: Huh, huh? Where'd she go? NOOOOO! My life is ruined! I'll never be the same again!  
Misty: Get a grip on yourself, Brock!  
Zelda: Has anyone seen Link? He seems to have disappeared!  
Ash: What are you doing here?   
Zelda: Um. I thought I just said that. I'm looking for Link!  
Brock: He's not here but I am and I could certainly be his replacement for a while!  
Zelda: Oh, well, maybe. But you don't have any eyes, and Link has such handsome blue   
eyes...  
Brock: For you, I could have eyes!  
Brock runs around in circles for a few seconds then stops. He turns and looks at Zelda.  
Zelda: Yuck! You have broccoli for eyes! That's disgusting!  
Brock: I'm sorry! Forgive me! I'll get rid of them.  
Brock runs around in circles again and his eyes return to normal.  
Brock: Okay narrator, that's it. If I can't make wonderful eyes for myself, then you have to!   
After everything I've done for you in the past years! You owe me this much!  
Narrator: Grovel.  
Brock throws gravel everywhere and repeats his plea.  
Narrator: Well, I guess that's good enough.  
Suddenly Brock has handsome blue eyes.  
Brock: Wow! I can't believe this! Everything looks so clear!  
Narrator: You know, I didn't really do anything for you. All that you did was open your eyes.  
Brock: Really? Why didn't I think of that?!  
Misty: That, no one will ever know.  
Zelda: Wow, those are the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen!  
Ash: Hey, wait a second! You can't just do this all by yourself! Brock, I said I'd catch you a   
girlfriend, and I will! Pikachu... GO!  
Pikachu: Um... Pi-KAAA!  
Pikachu springs forward and attacks Zelda.   
Zelda: Hey, knock it off!  
Brock: Zelda, tackle attack, now!  
A gleam appears in Zelda's eyes and, as if possessed, she springs at Pikachu.  
Ash: Noooo! Pikachu!  
Pikachu: Cool it, Ashy-boy! I'm fine! Just tell me to do another attack.  
Ash: Oh. Thundershock, now!  
Pikachu: Pi-ka-CHUUUU!  
Pikachu Thundershocks Zelda and she falls to the ground, limp.  
Brock: Noooo! Zelda!  
Brock rushes over to Zelda and cradles her limp body in his arms.  
Ash: Just a second Brock! Geez! Pokeball.... GO!  
Ash throws a Pokeball at Zelda and she is sucked inside. Ash picks up the pokeball.  
Ash: YES! I caught Zelda!  
Brock is kneeling on the ground, arms outstretched to Ash.  
Ash: Oh, all right.  
Ash hands the Pokeball to Brock and he immediately releases Zelda.  
Brock: (shaking Zelda's shoulders) Zelda, talk to me!  
Slowly, Zelda opens her eyes.  
Zelda: Hunh?  
Brock: She called me Hun! She called me Hun!  
Ash started to say something but Misty stopped him.  
Misty: (whispering) Leave him to his delusions.  
Brock: Zelda, will you go out with me?  
Zelda: Until I can find my way back to my own dimension? Well... sure.  
Brock: YES!  
Robin turns on the disco music and Brock and Zelda start disco-ing.  
Robin: Yes! I love parties!  
Robin pulls out the cardboard and starts breakdancing.  
Then the scene starts flashing different vivid colors.  
Narrator: Hey, thought I might as well help out.  
Ash: Misty, will you disco with me?  
Misty: I'd love to Ash.  
Ash grabbed Misty by the hands and pulled her onto the dance floor, where they all discoed   
until they were completely discoed out.  
  
And that would be the end. Okay, sorry. I hope that wasn't too terrible. Please read and   
review, but not TOO harshly! I'm really sensitive! Um... well... anyhow. Goodnight! 


	2. 2 Broccoli

Broccoli Eyes 2: The Sequel  
  
Disclaimer: The characters aren't ours and neither is anything that could possibly not be ours so don't try to sue us or anything because we don't have any money.  
  
WARNING: Flames will be extinguished so don't be dumb and write them; it's just pointless and stupid. If you do not approve of insanity don't read this!!!  
  
Narrator: We once again find our friends lost in the woods (why do they let Ash have the map?) and by now I'm sure you know how it goes.  
Ash (running around in circles like an idiot): It'sthiswayIt'sthiswayIt'sthisway!!!!!!  
Misty: (clonks Ash over the head with a roll of newspaper.) You're an idiot!!!!  
Ash: Duh Misty!!!! God, how long did it take you to figure that out?  
Brock: I am intelligent!  
The narrator gets sweatdrops. MANY sweatdrops.  
Ash: Who's barrette is this?  
Misty: Oh, you found it!!! Wait, what the heck are you talking about? Waaa... oh, wait, that's your word.  
Zach: Waaaaahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! (Waving his arms wildly.)  
*AN: Don't even ask.*  
That Guy: Hey, you're cool, Zach!!!  
*AN: Don't ask about that, either.*  
Misty: Okay, back to the stars of this demented little show, already!  
Ash: My glory is being sucked away from me by these imbeciles. Ew... hey, why the heck does this idiodic author make us go ew all the time?  
Author: Because you're an idiot! Oooh... I have a good idea!  
Gary: Ash, you SUUUUCK!!!!!!  
Author: There, that's better.  
*AN: Sorry, I really do like Ash. I just like Gary better. ^.^*  
Gary: Ash, I am so much cooler and hotter than you! And I think you're a OUCH! Something bit me!What is a rhino in the ice some finger in find this weasel?  
Ash: Boy, and I thought I was dumb!  
Misty: I think something's really wrong with him. MAYBE THAT POISONOUS SNAKE THAT BIT HIM JUST MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT SMART ONE!!!  
Ash: It bit me too and I haven't changed.  
Brock: *Insert something intelligent.*  
Misty: No kidding! I think we all had that figured out by now! We have to help Gary!! We couldn't possibly let such a total hunk go to waste!  
Ash and Brock get sweatdrops.  
Ash: Misty, I thought I was the only man in your life!  
Misty: Yeah right, Ash! You're just a boy. You're the only BOY in my life, WAHAHAHAHA!  
Brock: You got a point.  
Misty: Did anyone ask you?  
Gary: Misty.... you are blah with the blah and plang the plant ploogie!!!  
Misty: That ansers my question! Thanx Gary! (flutters eyelashes attractively.)  
Ash falls over and looks like Brock. Yeah, his eyes dissapeared.  
Brock: OH MY GOD. Look at his eyes. They are SOOOO gone!!!  
Gary: You should be talking. Yeah the possum loves taangoing in the lilly pads with Robin Williams aka Broccoli eyes!  
Ash: I totally agree!  
Misty: You understand what he's saying?  
Ash: No, but Pikachu does. He just told me so through our telepathic communications.  
Pikachu: Pi pi poika pi pika pikachu chu chu.  
Ash: Don't say that out loud, Pikachu! This is a PG rated story!  
Misty: (blushes) Just looking at Gary makes this be past the PG rating.  
Author: I have ribbons in my hair!  
Brock: (tears streaming down his face.) I want some!!  
Gary: I am so computer in the zoo.  
Ash: Yeah... that's true.  
Misty: OH YEAH!  
Brock: I don't get it. BLAH.  
Misty: You're so handsome. Do you take music lessons?  
One of Gary Oak's many pokemon speaking from a pokeball: Yes he does. He plays the harp and the basoon.  
Ash: Ha ha! What a buffoon! Get it? Basoon, Buffoon!  
Brock: Ash, I can't believe you! The second I turn my back on you you try to steal Nurse Joy away from me I can not believe you would do that I'm so mad at you it's not even funny!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Officer Jenny walks up.  
Officer Jenny: I believe I heard a cry for help from somewhere around here?  
Brock: Oh, go away Officer Jenny. I always liked Nurse Joy better.  
Gary: I steal Moofalooof Buffon Elephant Balloon peanut pimpernickel and if the star is old than you will eat and scoop at story time!  
Officer Jenny: I shall arrest this pervert this instant!  
Dramatic music plays and officer Jenny whisks out some handcuffs.  
Brock: No, Officer Jenny! Take me instead!  
Jenny: I thought you didn't like me?  
Brock: That was two seconds ago.  
Misty: You can't arrest him! He's under the influence of poison!  
Officer Jenny: Aha! So he's a druggee, too! I always suspected such.  
Gary: Shroom.  
Officer Jenny: Yet more evidence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Narrator: Okay, a little overboard with the exclamation points, already.  
Author: (blushes) Oops... sorry.  
Brock: I like BIG BUTTS, and I cannot lie!  
Officer Jenny: Hey, are you suggesting something? 'Cause I could take you under custody, too!  
Brock: Oh, yes please, Officer Jenny! Make my day!  
Ash: What an idiot. Wait.... I'm an idiot, too! (shrinks down onto the ground.)  
Misty: Oh, come on Ash, get up.  
Ash: (glaring at Misty.) I am undergoing a REVELATION here!  
Misty: Well, undergo another one!  
Misty kisses Ash on the lips.  
Author: Hehehe.  
Narrator: I thought this was supposed to be a comedy.  
Brock: It is. The thought of Ash getting kissed by anyone is hilarious!  
Ash: Waaaa... that was cool! I never knew you felt this way, Misty!  
Misty: Yeah, well. I don't really know. I thought I liked Gary in this story. Oh well.  
Misty kisses Ash again.  
Brock: (sweatdropping) Okay, that's enough.  
Author: Oh, isn't that sweet?  
Gary: No. I want the bird in the tree with a fly in a flea to be here and not there.  
Misty: Sorry, Gary. It just wasn't working out between us.  
Gary: Hey, I thought I was getting arrested? Uh... I mean... In the ocean was a fork.  
Officer Jenny: YEAH! That's right! I love to arrest people!  
Brock: Well, if you love to arrest people and I love you and I would love to be arrested wouldn't it work out really great if you arrested me and we went off to live in a jail cell together forever?  
Officer Jenny ignores Brock and handcuffs Gary hands behind his back.  
Gary: *thinking telepathically since he can't speak intelligibly* I've never been arrested before!  
Author: Hey, did I give you permission to think telepathically???? I don't think so!  
Gary: Sheet of paper on blue screen.  
Author: That's better.  
Officer Jenny hauls Gary off to jail.  
Misty: Wait Gary! I love-  
Author: Hey!  
Misty: Ash. This doesn't make any sense. Oh well, let's go after Gary, anyway. Let's go. (looks around for Brock, but he is already gone rushing off after Oficer Jenny.) Sigh, okay then, Ash, let's go.  
Ash: (still stunned by Misty's kiss.) Wow................!!!!!!!!!! (smiles maniacally.)  
Misty: Okay then, I'll just go myself! Geez, am I the only sane person here?  
Author: No, I'm sane.  
Misty: Ha. Think again. You WROTE this story! Could you possibly be sane?  
Author: Hey!  
Misty's hair disappears in a lovely whisp of smoke.  
Author: Yahaaa! That was fun! *Pauses while everybody stares with looks of stupidity on their faces.* Oh, fine, let's just get on with the story.   
Misty's hair reappears. Misty cries for joy.  
Misty: Yay! My hair!  
Misty runs away very fast in the direction of the police station to try to escape the havoc the author is wreaking.  
Misty: Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A storm is coming this way! It looks pretty bad, too!  
Author: Wreak wreak havoc havoc.  
Misty: GO AWAY! You're ruining this ruined story!  
Author: If I go away the story will be over. Do you really want it to end so soon?  
Misty: YES!!!  
Narrator: Suddenly Gary turned sane and Jenny had to let him go and arrest Brock instead so everyone would live happily ever after except maybe Misty because she still has to hang out with Ash and man oh man was that ever a mouthfull!  
Author: The end.  
Ash: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anyone who wants to email me, email me!!! At mysticaldragoness@hotmail.com. Well, except if you're a really horrible person who wants to kill me... that would be bad. Please review my story! Here's my review scale that makes it really easy for anyone to review. You can leave your name as "anonymous" if you like. It's really simple. Here it is:  
Liked it: Leave a smiley face as your review. ^_^  
Hated it: Leave a sad or disgusted face as your review. .  
Were indifferent: Leave an indifferent face. (Who woulda thunk?) -_-  
Were confused: Leave a question mark or face with sweatdrops. ^_^;;;;;;;  
Actually want a sequel of some kind: Leave a smiley face with exclamation points after it. ^_^!!!!  
  
Thank you for reading our story! Love ya!   



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